Bar Wig

As we approach the last days of Summer, my mind is looking forward to the chilly months to come. After experiencing one full Winter on the East Coast, I have realized that Fall and Winter mean many things. It means wearing scarves for utility, not fashion (people who wear scarves in California are chumps). It means showing up to work with nose running and feet frostbitten. It means wearing a coat, a thick wool one every day

Last Winter, I learned about a phenomenon called the "bar coat." You see, DC is still in the dark ages. People (white trash) are free to light up a Virginia Slim and blow it in your face at your favorite bar, nightclub, and restaurant. The outcome? Smelly clothes, skin, and hair. So, people who value the quality of their scent have "bar coats." This is a cheap coat that you can wear to a bar and not worry about it smelling like the Marlboro Man when you stumble home. Furhter, having a bar coat allows you to avoid the dreaded coat check, so you don't have to tip another d-bag on your road to inebriation. I was skeptical about the whole bar coat idea, but I will definitely purchase one this Fall.
However, bar coats are just the tip of the iceberg. So what if you prevent your nice Winter coat from getting stanky, your hair still smells like your Uncle Leroy's den (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about...your uncle Leroy was practically a father to you). So, unless you enjoy making your linens and pillows have that savory dirty French prostitute aroma, you are likely to take a shower before you pass out. The solution? The bar wig! I wish I could take credit for this one, but the idea ocurred to my girlfriend when, after a long night, my golden strands of gelled hair smelled like ash and tar. However, I think I may be the first person to actually wear one. The bar wig is exactly what you think it is...a protective shield for your precious locks. Not only will the bar wig protect your hair better than the pro-vitamins found in Pantene Pro-V, but it will also allow you to mix up your hairstyle and color. I am considering marketing these stylish smoke resistant wigs in the near future, so place your orders now. Between the bar coat and wig, I think I will be prepared for the Winter drinking season ahead.