Barry's Back

(pictured: Barry disappointedly gazes at Giants senile manager Felipe Alou after Alou informed Barry that they will have to special order a hat to fit his huge dome)

For those of you who don't care about baseball and whose version of watching sports is limited to watching American Gladiator re-runs on the USA Network, I guess you can stop reading. But for those of you with taste in the finer things, I'm going to comment on the return of one of baseball's best and most controversial players, Barry. By the way, how sweet would it be to be so famous that people only have to say your first name?

Anyways, the slugger is slated to enter the lineup for the Giants for the first time this season after undergoing three surgeries on his knee this year, and major league baseball couldn't ask for better news. So what if the guy has one of the biggest human heads in captivity (literally and figuratively), he still makes baseball exciting. The Giants need this...I mean I could have pitched for the team this season. As a fan, it was sad that the only time the team made national headlines was when a radio commentator made racial slurs in reference to their lackluster play. So fans, here is our chance, and Barry will deliver. Before the season ends, he will hit homeruns, and people will continue to debate whether or not he deserves to be held among the greatest non-genetically modified baseball players of the past, and these discussions are good. I think it is fairly obvious that Barry did take performance enhancing drugs, but this season and the seasons to come, Barry will be natural...and he will still play great baseball. People will boo and shout insults, but when he smacks balls into McCovey Cove, chills will run down spines and people will realize that despite all of his faults, he is what he is, a great baseball player with a huge head.