Yanni: Innocent, but still a creep

Legendary keyboardist and new age loser Yanni has been cleared of domestic abuse charges. His girlfriend, Silvia Barthes, 33, told police Yanni grabbed her and shook her, then threw her on a bed and jumped on her, according to a police report. Barthes had a bloody lip, but told officers she thought she might have hit herself when Yanni shook her (spoken like a true wife-beatee).

Yanni had this to say in response to the claims (my issues with the statement are in bold):

"The allegations claimed were always false and completely without any merit. Unfortunately, celebrities are often seen as easy targets and are very vulnerable to these kinds of baseless allegations and false demands for money. I want to thank my family, friends, fans and everyone who have supported me through this very difficult and painful time. I love the Florida community in which I live and will continue to have faith in our justice system."

1) You're not a celebrity Yanni. You might chill out my neighbor who makes her own clothes out of hemp, but you're still a mustachioed nobody.

2) I think it would have been more fitting if Yanni replaced the word "fans" with "new age blowhards who get chubs from Casio keyboards and ponytails."

3) I'm sorry Yanni, but this case has reaffirmed my disillusion with the justice system. How on earth can we let a man with a mustache that offensive go free?



(All those years of tickling the plastic ivories sure have aged the synthesizer king)