Governor Amstrong?

(Pictured below: Lance Armstrong tramples a helpless Euro in pink spandex)

After winning a record seven straight Tour de France victories, the man in the yellow jersey and trendy bracelet has declared his retirement. So what will this real American hero do with his newly acquired free time? It seems that after dropping a few hints, there is some speculation that Armstrong might run for Texas governor. Here are several reasons why I believe this is a grand idea:

1) Arnold has proven that steroid use does not hurt a gubernatorial bid
2) Armstrong left his wife for a hot rock star (Sheryl Crow)- if this doesn't reek of a politician, I'm not sure what does.
3) He looks good in spandex
4) Lance hasn't voted in at least seven years- who better to lead a state than someone who doesn't actively participate in politics.
5) He has no affiliation with a political party- see #4
6) His cheesy campaign slogan could be something cycle-oriented like, "Lance in 2010, it's time to change gears." Or his slogans could employ references to my favorite and most deadly toy, Stretch Armstrong.
7) Bicycling is very Euro- and I always wanted black denim shorts to make a comeback here in the states.

Listen Lance, since I know you're an avid reader of my blog, I feel I should give you some advice. Arnold's failings in California is proof that just because your calves have more definition than a dictionary does not mean that you have any business in politics. Texas is probably better off if you stick to profitting from your cancer survival.