Tuesday's NIB
The alleged "cell phone bandit," who has terrorized banks while chatting on her Motorola, was arrested in Virginia early this morning. The Fairfax County jailhouse has already received hundreds of love letters addressed to the bandit, however upon further investigation it seems that they were all written by the obnoxious "can you hear me now?" guy.Recently released Reagan era documents reveal that SCOTUS nominee Samuel Alito does not believe in the right to abortion and affirmative action programs. Further, the documents revealed his belief that the government should protect traditional values. When questioned further about which values Alito considered traditional, he stated "those that keep minorities in low wage jobs and abortions where they belong (in back-alleys performed by a man named Lou)."
The nominee for the head of the Federal Reserve will appear before the Senate today. According to the Washington Post, "Bernanke's friends, colleagues and former students say the would-be Fed chairman is likely to come across in the hearing as anything but a starchy academic wedded to arcane theories and rigid economic models." Instead, he will come across as someone whose job and personality I am completely uninterested in. In other news, I will always be poor.
Israeli and Palestinian officials were able to look past Condi's gap-teeth and overall unattractiveness and brokered an agreement to open the Gaza strip to the outside world. Condi's mediating skills have been touted by the press, and racists continue to comment on how "well-spoken" she is.
Today marks the first day that elderly citizens can sign up for Medicare prescription drug benefits. The timing is perfect for Sam Watterson, who turns 65 today (not a lie) and needs some serious meds after a disappointing few months.
posted by Will @ 9:13 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Pick- You should add more links to other blogs on your site. Your devoted readers depend on your vast knowledge of the blogosphere to lead them in the right direction in navigating the unknown. Plus, if you link to other sites, they'll link to you, and you can increase your fan base.
Moresman say: This may be a useful story for your fans:
Advice for the tinfoil hat brigade
Posted by Dan Kennelly on November 16th, 2005
http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/
On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study
Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government’s invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.
tin fiol hat!
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