News in brief, or boxers if you're worried about sperm count

Bush Declares "we do not torture" but continues to fight McCain anti-torture legislation. Anyone else confused?

Dupont Italian Kitchen loosens patron's sphyncters. I wish I wasn't the primary source for this story.

Racially motivated rioting in France causes IHOP to reconsider the whole freedom toast idea.

Karl Rove continues to struggle with Denny's removal of the "moons over my-hammy" grand-slam breakfast special. On a related note, White House staffers are forced to attend ethics briefings.

Australia proves that they're capable of more than harassing animals (Steve Erwin is Australia's only citizen). They can bring down terrorist plots too!