Clips o' the week

By now you've (my 3 readers) probably heard about Barbaro, the favorite to win the Triple Crown, and the leg it broke during last week's Preakness horse race. I admit I know nothing about horse racing and I could care less about about a bunch of rich Southerners in linen suits betting thousands of dollars and talking about how the Emancipation Proclamation was hogwash. Honestly, I would rather watch NASCAR than see unitard-wearing midgets spank their horses with whips. But even if you do enjoy that kind of stuff, the amount of coverage this horse has gotten is sickening. It was Monday's top story and the coverage has continued through today. In fact, the Associated Press has started a Barbaro blog chronicling its surgery and recovery.

Let's be honest, the only reason the owners care about this beast is because if it makes babies, it can make them millions. Even so, loyal fans have created a giant get well card for the HORSE where a fan, "told Barbaro that we're praying for a full recovery." Oh and by the way this same fan signed the get well card from her husband and their horse. (Some day I will create a law forbidding pet owners to sign greeting cards on behalf of their animals). It's a sad time when dozens of young Americans have been injured and killed in Iraq this week, yet I can't name one of them. But, thanks to media coverage priorities I know the name of a horse's surgeon. It's a horse people. I guess what happened is sad if you're a horse person (minotaur), but the story has run its course and it's time to shut the hell up about it.





An old dude won the hearts of 63 million idiots dumb enough to pay to vote for a contestant on a tv show last night. Taylor Hicks, who is actually only 29 years old, became this year's American Idol and will join the ranks of that Ruben guy, Fantasmic, and Kelly somewhat talented Clarkson. As much as I hate the show, I give this old guy some credit because I read that he sang a Springsteen song on one of the shows. I guess it takes a guy with grey hair to bring some quality to the most overrated show on TV.

(Really pal, it worked for Tom Cruise in Collateral, but you're no Thomas Jackson Cruise. Check out these many colors you can choose from that are available at your local drugstore.)

In other news....

Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were found guilty by a Houston jury this afternoon. Kenneth Lay's statement in response to being found guilty of defrauding thousands of hard-working people..."Did I do thaat?"


The Senate will most likely pass their version of the immigration bill sometime today without the support of a majority of Republicans. The first question most immigrants ask when arriving in the US? "Got any cheeese?"