Friday, May 12, 2006

Raise it


(Pictured: Me at prom 2000)

Actually, that is not a picture of me. I would kill to look that good in a shimmery red vest. But this picture reminds me of an important topic that I would like to raise to the three readers of this blog. Raising the roof is still cool. The following are some roof-raising stories stripped from the headlines:

The US Senate failed to pass S. 1955 yesterday. The bill would have threatened state mandated coverage for mammograms and other cancer screening services among other life saving benefits. This was a huge victory for people who are anti-cancer (aka anyone with a soul). I think this story deserves a two-handed raise and perhaps an Arsenio Hall woop.

Alec Baldwin is raising the roof at Kim Bassinger's dismay this week. Over his ex-wife's objections, a Los Angeles court on Thursday granted Baldwin three extra visitation days with daughter Ireland to make up for a weekend earlier this year when the 10-year-old had strep throat and couldn't make the trip to New York, where her dad lives. On a sidenote, why on earth am I pulling stories from E Online? And which Baldwin is Alec? Is the the one with a career, or the one on Celebrity Fat Club? I can never keep those losers straight. I think William Baldwin is my fav, because Backdraft kicked ass in the early 90s and the ride at Universal Studios is pretty boss too.

(Billy Baldwin: total dreamboat, or dreamboat extraordinaire? You decide)

I am also raising the roof because I lost three pounds. How you ask? No, I didn't partake in the Hollywood 48 Hour Miracle Diet (aka laxitives in juice form). I just looked at this picture and threw up my breakfast. Want to shed those pesky pounds? I suggest you check out the picture of Manuel Uribe, the fattest man alive.

Health nuts can also raise the roof because Wal-Mart is seeking to carry more organic products. I am not sure how I feel about an apple getting more humane treatment than the employers who stock them...but how can I criticize a company with such a happy logo? Hooray for locking employees in stores over night and watch out for falling prices!

(Pictured: 87 year old Wal Mart greeter Lois Stanley. Stanley tragically perished in a freak falling price accident in 1998)


Have a great weeekend, and don't forget to give to my Relay team.

4 Comments:

At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got several problems with pick's post:

a) I don't appreciate the usage of my family's wedding photos without my explicit permission

b) I wish I could get some credit for some of the content on here because half the jokes are my idea

c) The comments are what really make pick's post dynamic, and I think they should really get more exposure.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger Will said...

Dear Dissatisfied in DC,

There is no way that the photo included in my post is of your family. He is way too attractive...Zing! I will give you credit for what you deserve, but I didn't think you wanted your name (Karl Rove) associated with this blog. The comments are indeed an intrigal facet of this blog, so I will make sure that they are displayed from now on.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Will said...

Integral...damn I can't spell.

 
At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

d) I often correct elementary level grammar and typo errors, not within reason

 

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