Happy Soon to be b-day Jesus

(New York City's transit union continues to say no deal)

In honor of the upcoming birthday of Jesus Christ our Lord and savior, I have gathered this news in briefs.

NYC enters its second day of transit strikes today as people flood the streets and carpool to work. A New York Supreme Court judge ruled that the transit strike is illegal and is fining the transit union $1 million for every day of the walk-out. In a related story, the man next to me on my commute this morning let one rip and then winked at me. I was about to give him a high ten for being so gassy first thing in the morning, but the wink really threw me off so I rescinded my high-ten and opted to get out of my seat and yell "you nasty!"

The new show "Deal or no Deal" continues to blow my mind. Not only does it involve absolutely no skill or intellect on the part of the contestant, but Howey Mandel's head is shinier than that sequence number that Elton John wore to his wedding. Really, the show gives me the creeps and it should be removed from NBC's horrible lineup immediately (because im secretly addicted...those ladies with the briefcases are so darn lovely).

A judge yesterday barred the teaching of "intelligent design" as an alternative to evolution in a Pennsylvania school district. For some reason, the judge didn't seem to think that intelligent design was based on credible science, and thought that the intelligent design rhetoric was being used as a means to introduce religion into public schools. Religion shmeligion, I know that I didn't come from no dirty apes. Instead, I came from a much more glamorous process- I came from Adam...who had sex with eve...whose kids had sex with each other, and their kids had sex with each other and voila the human race was created.

Two weeks after a protest that culminated in gunfire and bloodshed, the rebellious farmers and fishermen of Dongzhou, China have been reduced to submission. Read this article and you'll be glad you don't live an opressive country like China. Oh wait, you can't even make Jack Black soundboard prank calls to your friends from Iran without the Bush Administration spying on you! Scary times my lil smokies, scary times...

This picture, one of Yahoo's most emailed, is absolutely awful..don't click on it if you're interested in eating honeybaked ham this holiday season.

This picture, another one of Yahoo's most emailed, will make you feel slightly better after viewing the image above.